It is an incredible sacrifice to send you daughter to a residential treatment center and it is understandable to sometimes wonder if this sacrifice will be worth it. To help calm these fears, the therapists at Sunrise have shared 15 secrets to help you be an effective parent while your daughter is in Residential Therapy.
4. Prepare you daughter for the path, not the path for your daughter
Driven by the love that they have for their children, some parents feel that in order for their daughter to be ok, they need to come in a solve her problems and challenges for her. In doing this, though the intentions are generally kind and loving, it reinforces to your daughter that she is incapable of meeting her challenges. This does more harm than good. If she’s going to grow and heal, your daughter needs to meet these challenges herself. It won’t be easy for her, it won’t be a nice, smooth, comfortable journey; but neither is life. She doesn’t have to meet that path alone though and it is important to prepare her for that path to help her rise up and meet these challenges
5. Be a curious observer
To accomplish the previous entry, one of the most important things you can do when she comes to you with her problems is to be a curious observer. What this means is that your role is not to solve her problems for her, it’s your role to simply be a curious observer. Be empathetic, validating, listening, warm, open, and observing. This lets her know that you trust her, that you think she’s capable, and that you believe that she can sort out her own problems. It can be so hard to let go of that need to solve these problems for her. In the long run though, it is so much better for your daughter for you to take a step back, give her your support, and validation and allow her to solve this problem herself.
Stemming off of number 5 is the idea of Validation. Everyone has certain emotions, struggles, and feelings. When you validate your daughter’s feelings, you’re not saying you agree with them or you will solve the problem. You’re simply saying that you’re there with them, you believe them to be confident to solve these issues, and most importantly that you care. It’s hard to resist the temptation to solve these problems for her, but it will be so much better in the long run to simply be there for her and to validate her.